Thursday, November 3, 2011

One Year Ago

One year ago today, I was ready to meet Julien, my rainbow baby! I would be heading to the hospital that night to be induced. I was so scared but so relieved for that stressful pregnancy to end with a beautiful breathing baby! After a very long and terrifying labor, our little Julien Reese entered the world and entered my arms and entered into a family who needed him so very much. He filled a void in my heart and I'm so glad he's mine. So happy first birthday tomorrow, Julien!

A little update on my long journey to wellness. A couple of years ago I wrote about finally finding the reason behind my long list of symptoms--I had hypothyroidism. I was treating myself for awhile until I got pregnant with Julien. Pregnancy can raise your thyroid hormone levels, so I no longer was considered "hypo" during that time. A few months after I had Julien, I began to notice many changes in my mood. I blamed most of it on the crazy changing hormones that is typical postpartum stuff. But over the summer and very recently, I felt a new low. I suspected thyroid issues once again, but because of insurance issues (or lack thereof) I had trouble getting seen. I finally found a doctor and had my thyroid tested again. I was once again diagnosed "hypothyroid" and put on meds. I also just recently had an ultrasound done of my thyroid, and it turns out that I have "Hashimotos disease". This means that my immune system is attacking my thyroid gland to the point that it is not producing enough hormones which is wreaking havoc on my mind, body, and adrenal glands (stress coping gland). I will be seeing an endocrinologist next month to find out what the next step will be. My thyroid is very abnormal in appearance as well, but they did not see anything that looked cancerous, thank God. In the meantime, I put myself on a gluten-free diet because there is a direct correlation between autoimmune issues such as Hashimotos, and celiac disease. Joss has been on a gluten free dairy free diet for almost a year, so I know all about it and the amazing changes that can come from removing these allergens. I've felt for quite some time that many of my health issues stem from gluten, but I haven't had the strength or will-power to attempt the diet. Joss must be so strong! ;) After finding out about the Hashimotos, I decided that that was the go-ahead I needed to go gluten-free. I am expecting to see some massive changes in my mind and my health...not to mention my appearance, which honestly has suffered because of my unbalanced hormones.

So that is where I am at today! I believe it has all been building for a very long time, and my pregnancies exacerbated everything...especially the loss of my little Jonas, which put me over the edge in a sense. Jonas would be 2 and a half years old now. I almost went to a grief support group a couple of months ago, but it never worked out and maybe I'm not in the right mindset to go back to that place right now. Someday I will be.