Wednesday, March 10, 2010

#12 Way Too Beautiful for Earth

Happy first birthday, baby boy! I wish you were here to celebrate your birthday, but don't worry--we'll eat some cupcakes in your memory and we'll be sending you up some balloons soon. You've got lots of gifts at the cemetery--you are very loved by all of your family! Mommy is not as sad as she thought she'd be today. She shed a few tears talking to you at the cemetery, but overall she knows that you are happy and safe with Jesus.

I have the best gift to give you for your birthday. Are you ready? You're going to be a big brother in November! ;)

~I hope you enjoyed your 12 days of photos. I saved the best for last. I am finally ready to share your real photo with the world.~ "Some people dream of angels. We held one in our arms."

#11 The Significance of Doves

My very talented MIL made all the baby announcements for Jonas while we were awaiting his arrival. I chose birds as the theme because I love the way they look as decor. Little did I know that birds, specifically doves, would come to represent Jonas after he passed away. It was mentioned in the song we had played during the funeral--didn't even know until it was being played at the funeral. The line was "like a dove caught in a storm". It took my breath away as I sat there listening to it. I had found a Bible verse that I printed out and attached to seed packets to pass out. I again was curious, so I looked at the verse (which I found on a random website). It mentioned "the turtledove"...Amazing! The thing that put me over the edge was when I became curious about the meaning of the name Jonas. I looked it up and couldn't believe my eyes. Jonas means "dove". Not sure why I never looked it up before. So many other doves have crossed our paths. The military moved us to Denver on a humanitarian reassignment, which was such a blessing. The Colorado state flower is the Columbine, which just so happens to mean "dove" in Latin. When we were house-hunting in Denver, we were looking at a house and were in the backyard when the owner said, "Look on the roof--there's a dove who lives there!" Sure enough, there was a dove sitting in its nest staring at of course we had to get that one! :) On the day of my job interview, there were doves flying around the parking lot before I went in. Yes, it may just be a coincidence, but I prefer to believe that God gives us signs of our loved ones as a peaceful reminder that He does exist. So obviously, I'm partial to doves. And yes, we did mail out the announcements anyway. We edited the inside to say..."into God's embrace" along with a poem my MIL wrote. I remember one of the first things I thought of, silly enough, was how hard she had worked on these announcements and how we wouldn't be able to use them. I'm so glad we did, though.

#10 Footprints

This was given to us by the German midwives after Jonas was born. They bathed him, dressed him, and got his hand and footprints. The poem meant so much to us that we had the last line put on his grave stone. I also named this blog after it. "Too Beautiful for Earth"

Tuesday, March 9, 2010

#9 So Close

This is you, me, and your brother when we were about 35 weeks pregnant. It's hard for me to look at my face in my pregnant photos. If only I knew what was about to happen in my life. How quickly my spirit could go from joyful to crushed with one sentence. I still like this picture, though. It was the last photo taken of us when you were in my belly. :)

Monday, March 8, 2010

#8 Your Room

This is the only picture I have of what was going to be your room. We had already taken most things down when this picture was taken. But it was months before I could take all your neatly folded clothes out of those drawers. I went into your room and just cried many many times. It was so sad...I've never felt such pain before. Just want you to know that I was so prepared for ready for you to enter our lives. But I didn't realize that you had already become a part of our lives, and the footprint you left behind has impacted us greatly.

Sunday, March 7, 2010

#7 German Summer

This was the view from our apartment window when I found out I was pregnant with you. We heard this wind chime everyday that summer. The big tree outside was so beautiful. Those peaceful days always make me think of you.

Saturday, March 6, 2010

#6 Daddy

Here's daddy on Mother's Day, two months after you were born. His grief is so different from mine but just as deep. He thinks of you often and tears up easily when he remembers your beautiful face. You look so much like him and your brother. You'll always have a special place in your daddy's heart.

Friday, March 5, 2010

Thursday, March 4, 2010

#4 Bought and then Sold

Here is the double stroller we bought just for you and your brother since you were only 22 months apart. We only had it a short time, as it became too difficult for mommy to look at sitting in the garage. We hope that there will be another double stroller in our lives one day. At least you have streets of gold to take walks on!

Wednesday, March 3, 2010

#3 You'll Always Have a Big Brother

Daddy just got done taking a belly photo of you and me, and your big brother wanted a look!

He doesn't quite understand what a little brother is right now, but we show him your photo a lot and he is learning to say "Jonas". He will have a unique challenge being a child with a little brother who lives in Heaven, but it will make him strong and wise.
Josiah Liam
August 2008

Tuesday, March 2, 2010

#2 How I Felt About Being Newly Pregnant with You

P.S. Be sure and have a grand party up there for me in honor of my 27th birthday today! :)

Monday, March 1, 2010

12 Days of You-photo #1

In honor of Jonas' upcoming first birthday, I'm going to post 12 days of photos-one photo a day leading up to his birthday that reminds me of him, our memories, or just a photo that I want to give him. So here's my first memory of you, Jonas...