December...

...is such a difficult month for mourners. The cold does not do much to warm the heart. The sunshine is great, though--it's so good to be back in America where the sun shines even when it's cold! I have missed the sun, which is evident by my ghostly complexion! Plus, it's Christmas time, and there will always be someone missing.

This past weekend, which happened to be Jonas' 9-month angelday, we spent in Sidney visiting my family. I wanted to decorate Jonas' grave all Christmas-y before the 25th so it was a great weekend to do it. My mom and I twisted some pine branches together and made a nice little bouquet. Zac, my dad, and I took it out to the cemetery. We saw some deer tracks all around the grave and the cemetery--it was beautiful!


Later that night we attended the worldwide annual candle-lighting ceremony in honor of children who have died. The painting of Jonas was shown on the big slide show along with many other children who have died in Sidney, dating back to the 1950's. We also went up to the front and set a candle down and received a rose when his name was called. It was very sad looking at all those who have passed away, especially since many of them were in my graduating class. It's so weird that they're not here anymore. Zac and I always talk about how much worse things could have been with Jonas. Some people might think differently, but we are very glad that he passed away before he was born as opposed to dying from SIDS or anytime after birth. I think that would have been much more difficult.